Why "me" is so important?

As a wellness advocate, I often meet people who are selflessly serving their families and communities. Inevitably, in our conversations, they will tell me they can’t focus on themselves because it feels selfish. They feel like it is selfish to put “me” first. 

SELFISH!?

In my personal life, I have found the opposite to be true. Focusing on myself, means I am stronger, more reliable, and healthier for those around me.

 Putting “me” first means that I take quiet time alone - over my coffee usually -  to commune with God. I get to sit in the presence of my Creator and reflect on my life.

 Am I serving others?

Do I love without judgement?

Who am I supposed to encourage?

Who do I need for encouragement?

 In the silence, God is free to speak to me about what HE has for me.

When I spend time alone with Jesus, I find that I make better decisions. I am just more in tune with my Creator. 

 Most of the time, I am awake before my children are. I thrive when I have a cup of coffee and time with Jesus to get my heart right before I have to be anything to anybody else. Occasionally, they find me tucked into the corner of my couch or in my office and when they do, they acknowledge my space. Many times that looks like a boy snuggled into my lap to pray with me about something on his little heart. Modelling time in quiet reflection lets my children see with their own eyes what my words tell them regularly. 

 How in the world can that be considered selfish? The dishes, the laundry, or whatever else is on the “to do” list can not be more important than the example I am setting by making time for quiet reflection. In a world where busyness is worn like a badge, it is vital to learn how to slow down. 

 Putting “me” first means, I make moving my body a priority. I pull out my exercise barre, or yoga mat, and celebrate what my body can do. I don’t need to tell you exercise is important. You know this! Regular exercise  results in more energy.  Endorphins are flowing which produce serotonin. Both of these are “feel good” hormones. They make us happy!!!

 How could it be selfish to keep our bodies healthy, happy, and strong? Let’s be honest here, if mama ain’t happy, NO ONE is happy. Making time to exercise can be a family affair if that’s more suited to your family. Everyone benefits from the level of health that comes from an active lifestyle. 

Putting “me” first means that I get enough sleep. Mental clarity is achieved by a balanced diet and adequate sleep. When we are sleep deprived, the emotion center of the brain tends to take over. I know my family hates it when I am overly emotional. I hate it too! Sleep increases our patience and our ability to show up well for our families. 

How could it be selfish to recharge in order to be the best version of ourselves?

Putting “me” first means having quality relationships. It means that occasionally, I leave my house and my children in the care of another competent human being in order to develop deep authentic relationships with people who love me without judgment while still holding me accountable. There is much value in communing with others who listen, love and share experiences with you. There is power in hearing you aren’t alone. 

Quality relationships also means, I still date my husband. Regularly! Because that relationship is the single most important relationship on this earth. He is the reason I am blessed with this beautiful family and this amazing life I get to live. He deserves the best parts of me, not the leftovers. 

 How could it be selfish to build a supportive community around myself and my family so that in times of weakness, we do not fall apart?

 Putting “me” first means taking time to make your needs a priority. Because the truth is, you can not pour from an empty cup. Today I want to encourage you that it is possible to make yourself a priority and still show up well for your family and community. In fact, I would challenge you that the version of you who puts herself first honors those in her family and community even more because she is more fulfilled, more energetic, and more present in the moment. Taking time that is just for personal growth brings you back to your family recharged and ready to serve. 

 And that my friends, means more than all the selfless acts of service in the world.