Silence Is Not Abandonment: Rewriting the Stories Our Bodies Tell
Healing doesn’t stop at awareness; it deepens when we choose new language, new patterns, and new stories to live by.
**This piece is part of my October series exploring energy, duality, and the nervous system — a journey through attunement, unlearning, embodiment, and integration.
There’s a voice in all of us that reacts to silence. In relationships, when someone goes quiet, our minds often rush to fill the space:
“Something’s off.”
“They’ve pulled away.”
“I’ve done something wrong.”
For a long time, I carried that fear too. In quiet moments—when communication slowed, when emotions felt uncertain—I found myself bracing for impact, waiting for the other shoe to drop. It wasn’t just about other people, though. I noticed that same fear surface in my relationship with my own body.
When my energy dipped mid-cycle, when symptoms showed up unexpectedly, or when my body needed rest, I interpreted it as betrayal. As if my body was suddenly abandoning me just when I needed it most.
Over time, I’ve come to see this differently:
Silence does not equal abandonment.
Pauses aren’t always signs of something being broken.
They can be invitations to trust more deeply—both in others and in ourselves.
Consistency Over Intensity Heals
In relationships, it’s not the grand gestures that build trust; it’s the steady, ordinary moments: a quick check-in text, honoring boundaries, showing up in ways that say, “I’m still here.”
Those consistent, small actions begin to rewrite the stories of abandonment. They teach our nervous systems that silence doesn’t have to mean disconnection.
The same principle applies when we pay attention to our bodies and their monthly rhythms. Our bodies move through a cyclical pattern each month—follicular, ovulatory, luteal, and menstrual phases—each with its own unique physiological needs. Yet our culture often teaches us to override these rhythms, to grind at the same pace no matter the season our body is in.
When we can’t keep up, we blame our bodies:
“Why can’t I just push through?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“My hormones are all over the place.”
The problem isn’t our bodies—it’s that we haven’t learned to meet them with steady, compassionate consistency.
When we track our cycles and respond accordingly, we’re checking in with ourselves just as we would with someone we love. When we nourish consistently—with balanced meals, stable blood sugar, quality sleep, and movement that matches our phase—we’re showing our bodies that we are reliable.
When we honor rest during our luteal and menstrual phases, rather than overriding it, we build resilience and harmony instead of burnout.
It’s not the big, dramatic overhauls that create lasting change. It’s the quiet, daily choices that whisper:
“I’m here. I’m listening. I won’t abandon you.”
Just like consistency builds trust in relationships, it builds trust within our bodies. Over time, this consistency softens old narratives of self-betrayal and replaces them with safety, stability, and resilience.
Your Body Is Not Betraying You
Many women come to me feeling frustrated or fearful when their cycles fluctuate, when fatigue sets in, or when symptoms flare. It can feel like the body is unpredictable—something to wrestle with rather than partner with.
But here’s the truth: your body is not abandoning you. It’s speaking to you.
Those shifts are not rejection; they are communication. They are invitations to lean in, to trust, and to respond with gentle consistency instead of panic or frustration.
The moment we start to interpret these signals as messages instead of malfunctions, everything changes.
Practical Ways to Reframe Silence
Daily check-ins: Even five minutes of journaling, prayer, or mindful breathing helps rewire your nervous system to feel safe in quiet moments.
Honor your boundaries: Saying no or slowing down is a powerful act of self-trust.
Celebrate small wins: Each nourishing meal, restful night, or mindful pause proves you’re showing up for yourself.
Reframe quiet moments: Instead of fearing silence, see it as a chance to ground and reconnect with your inner rhythm.
The Takeaway
Healing—whether in relationships, with our bodies, or in our cycles—comes from steady presence, not frantic pursuit. Small, consistent acts of care are what build trust, heal old abandonment stories, and create space for real resilience to grow.
Silence is not abandonment. It’s an invitation. Your body isn’t turning away from you—it’s calling you home.
Ready to Build Trust with Your Body?
Just as we learn to trust silence in our relationships, we can learn to trust the quiet signals of our body. In the Rooted in Health Program, we’ll work together to rewrite the stories your body has been trying to tell you—and create new ones rooted in safety, resilience, and trust.
